Hit a Roadblock? Remember: Why you decided to go natural!

I feel like this topic is long over due for me to write about. I know I've been away for a while, but there's a LOT of things going on right now. My laptop is down for the moment, I've been redesigning the blog, I had a mental block, and life has just been happening. This specific topic has been on my mind for sometime now, but I didn't know how to get it out. Deciding to stop chemically processing your hair is a simple decision for some, and a huge step for others. There will be countless obstacles that will arise, especially in the "honeymoon phase" of your newly natural hair. In my next few posts, I'm planning to touch on a few different things that I feel are important to remember, not only in the beginning, but throughout the years you're chemical free.

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When I decided to stop chemically straightening my hair it felt like it was a bigger deal for other people, than it was for me. Some loved it, some were interested, some were indifferent, some had jokes, some hated it and felt it was the worst decision I could've ever made in life! Initially, the negativity REALLY bothered me; mostly because it came from some of my own family members. I felt as if my family should've been the most supportive, and understanding, but it wasn't that way. Today, unless it's said while I'm out the room ^_^" I feel like all of the people in my life are very accepting, understanding, and supportive of decision to skip the chemicals. Ironically, a few of the people who had negative feelings about my hair have now decided to forego chemically straightening themselves!

• So, why did you decide to go natural?
• What initially made you even consider to not put chemicals in your hair to straighten it?
• How did you feel then, how do you feel now?
• Why's it important for you to stick with your choice?

These are important questions to ask and to have answers for; answers for yourself that is.

Having answers for questions like these really helped me when I encountered roadblocks. The roadblocks could be anything that makes you think twice or question your decision. It could be anything that changes your mind, makes you feel bad, convinces you to return to chemical straightening, etc. Reminding myself of these answers helped to keep me on the path of my new commitment.

Possible Roadblocks:

• Friends/family not being supportive of your choice
• Strangers/co-workers making comments
• Someone trying to talk you out of your decision
• A partner threatening to break up with you
• People suggesting that you straighten your hair all the time
• Having your hair compared to anything other than hair & not in a good way
• Being mistaken for a male when you're female
• Feeling self conscious after doing the big chop
• Having a hard time learning to care for/style your hair
• Your hair isn't growing as fast as you'd like
• Being over whelmed by the amount of products that are available

Bumps in the road are countless, do, and will happen, but its how you get over, around, or work with them that's important!

Source

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It's really helpful for me, even today, to remember what my answers are to the above questions. I don't ever give a serious thought to chemically straightening my hair. Some comments or reactions do bother me from time to time though. My answers honestly help to keep me encouraged, confident, and motivated!



Why did I decide to go natural? The decision was easy solely, because my reasoning to chemically straighten my hair was a simple one. In high school I didn't get relaxers, but I was going to a salon once a week. When I went away to college I had no clue how to do my natural hair. It hurt to comb, was tangled after washing, was dehydrated; just a mess. Relaxing was easier to me, but destructive on my hair. Without the relaxer my hair was noticeably healthier, longer, and stronger. My preference for healthier hair (in the long run) was greater than my desire for easier (at the time) maintenance.

What initially made you even consider to not put chemicals in your hair to straighten it? The whole idea of "natural hair" was foreign to me at the time. I just knew that at the end of the day I wanted healthy hair and relaxers weren't doing that for me. I'd rather have 2 inches of the healthiest, strongest hair there is, than to have waist length hair that's damaged, thinning, and overall unhealthy.

How did you feel then, how do you feel now? It soon changed, but initially I felt alone because I didn't have anyone who could help me. Being away from home, I didn't know anyone who was also chemical free and who I felt could relate. I also felt very defensive, because of some things people would say about my hair. Now, I feel very secure in my decision, and welcome questions/opinions from others. I've met a ton of people who share similar experiences or even just an interest with me. Some of these people are complete total strangers who will strike up a conversation simply, because they recognize that I have natural hair, and that's comforting in a way.

Why's it important for you to stick with your choice? I'll use a quote that I love ^_^ If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. My hair is me, it's a part of me, always has, and always will be. The way my hair grows out of my scalp is just fine with me, I don't see anything negative about it, and I don't feel like there's a need for me to alter that. At the end of the day I have to do what makes me happy.

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Overall, the advice I'd give to anyone who: is having trouble styling, has little support, is brand new to being chemical free, is frustrated for whatever reason, wants to go back to relaxers, etc. would be to remember why.

I challenge you to take a few minutes and answer the same questions that I did above. Answer them honestly and with the gut feeling that initially comes to you. Whenever you have self doubt, need encouragement, a reminder, or just a boost--- look at what you wrote or just remember. This should help give you what you need to get around the roadblocks you encounter ^_~"

I'd love to hear your thoughts, answers to the questions, etc. What are some roadblocks you've faced, and how did you deal with them? Any advice for others or just thoughts on the subject?? Share:

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via email

<3

Naturally Meet: Toia

Toia is an AWESOME photographer I had the pleasure of meeting, and working with on multiple occasions!!!! I was drawn to her work, because she has no boundaries. Toia doesn't limit her work to rail thin, salon perfect hair wearing, flawless skinned, 6'8" models. Her spectrum and mind are much more open than that. She is very true to herself, her work, and life. I love that in her! Even though she's been SUPER busy she managed to help me out by answering some questions, and providing great info for me to pass on. Here's your turn to Naturally Meet, Miss Toia!

When did you become natural? May of 2006 was my last relaxer.

Did you transition, or do the Big Chop? I transitioned first and then did my big chop on January 26, 2007 after watching Malcolm X.

What influenced you to become natural? I admired the uniqueness of being natural. I had tried to transition for five years before I actually went natural. Then, I met a local photographer who traveled all over the world taking images of beautiful people in Africa, Asia and the Middle East. I saw one image of a girl with really strong African Features. She was from West Africa. I thought she was not attractive, and I wondered what made him choose her to be photographed. He told me that he thought she was beautiful. I felt a bit guilty, because I realized as old as I was that I had been taught to hate those features that are unique to Africans and African Americans. It was self hate. I felt ashamed. I kept looking at the image, and I realized that I shared the same features (wide nose and full lips), but that I was somewhat of a hypocrite, because I hid mine behind a long silky wrap of chemically relaxed hair. I decided at that moment to go natural and to stand firm in my decision this time

What's the best thing about being natural? The cost! Economically, it is cheaper (besides experimenting with different products on my hair). I no longer have to spend 65 dollars for a relaxer. Also, I do not miss sitting in a chair for hours on end. I'm so glad that's not me anymore! 

Top 3 fave products? Carol's Daughter Hair Milk, Hello Hydration Moisturizing Conditioner, and Apple Cider Vinegar.

What's your hair routine? In the summer, I wash with an apple cider vinegar rinse in the shower. I then use a cheap conditioner to comb through to detangle. After that, I rinse thoroughly and then apply either the hair milk OR the conditioner (depending how my funds are). I never comb it after detangling. I allow it to dry with the product on, in ringlets. In the mornings, I shower and allow the mist to spray my hair and I may apply a little more product as needed. In the winter, I have my hair wish, blow dried and flat ironed professionally, or sometimes I do it at home.

What do you love the most about being natural? I love the versatility and my hair seems so much healthier. It's growing like a wild fire!  

More Information provided by Toia:

~~~~If you're interested in learning more about the Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse  H E R E !!  is a helpful how-to video.

~~~~Want to learn how to condition your hair like Toia described above? Watch this how-to video H E R E !! This is what Toia had to say about it:

"I also condition and comb my hair through in the shower. After doing this, I NEVER comb my hair again. I put the next product in and let it dry in ringlets. That's if I'm doing the conditioner only. In this video, the girl uses a plastic brush to define her curls, but I don't like it. It makes my hair too flat, so I just let it air dry with conditioner after conditioning in the shower. I use a cheap conditioner in the shower and rinse it out. I use a heavier one after showering and let it air dry with the conditioner in it."

~~~~I myself have used the Conditioner Only Method. You can find more information on how to do this H E R E !! This site shows you the results of this method on different hair types.  

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Helpful links for networking, videos, and more hair information:

• Rustic Beauty via YouTube  (she doesn't have a channel anymore but you can search for old videos)
• Curly Chronicles via YouTube 
• Pretty Dimples via YouTube 
• For Networking 
• Nappturality 
• Grow Afro Hair Long 

The following are some photos of me that Toia has skillfully taken! Remember these photos are protected, copyrighted, and permission for any and all use must strictly have permission from Toia herself.

Wearing a Twist Out

Two Strand Flat Twists on the side with loose two strand twists in the back

Small two strand twists

 You may find more about the wonderful Toia, her craft, and maybe a photo or two of me    H E R E !!

 

It's My (BC) Anniversary!!

I am coming up on the anniversary of my BIG CHOP (BC)!!! Deciding to go chemical free wasn't a hard decision for me. Up until I started college I actually didn't relax my hair. What pushed me into doing it was I honestly had no idea how to do my hair. Sounds bad right??

Well, back home I was able to go to a salon once a week to have someone else manage my huge head of hair. Being 100 plus miles away I was lost and confused. After relaxing it I STILL had to learn how to do my hair. Relaxing my hair wasn't the simple fix I thought it would be. The "I need my hair relaxed" phase lasted about a year or so before I was sick of it. To me, there was more maintenance, upkeep, and rules (no chlorine, avoid the rain, dance too hard and your curls will disappear, etc) that needed to be followed.

There were two attempts at transitioning my relaxed hair back into my natural state. They both failed! Failed either because it hurt SOOOOO bad to comb my hair that I couldn't take it and was near tears, or because my hair was breaking off badly. Both of these reasons caused me to go to town on my hair with scissors and a relaxer kit! The end results were super cute, but that's not the point. As you've probably heard before, the third try was the charm for me   ^_^"  What actually made a difference my third time around was I had a close friend who did a BC, and had met other people who already had natural hair. They helped me learn some things along with a hair dresser I started going to.

Strike 2: relaxed and cut my hair

Strike 1: layered and relaxed my hair

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Research was a big help in me transitioning. I did an online search for salons in the city that had stylists who specialized in natural and/or textured hair, then went from there. It was important to me that I had a full in person conversation with the person that I would be trusting to do my hair. There have been plenty of times I've went to salons and the stylists are confused, don't know where to begin, call others over to see, tell me it's going to cost more, ask me how I do my hair, so they can do it.....there is no way I'm sitting in your chair and letting you do anything if your initial reaction to my hair is even remotely similar to these!!!!

Luckily I did find a salon, and they offered a free consultation with the stylist. Some of the things I felt helpful that he asked, suggested, mentioned were:

• What was my over all goal with my hair. (Health, length, etc.)
• What products was I currently using? (Shampoo, oil sheen, hair spray, etc.)
• Mentioned the good/bad of specific products I named that I used. (Pantene for Natural, oil sheen, etc.)
• Suggested quality products I could find at stores myself. (Ex. Mizani)
• Asked about my typical hair routine. (How often I wash, what tools do I use, etc.)
• Explained why I had the issues I currently did (Breakage, etc.)
• Explained how different hair textures had different needs (Less oil, more moisture, etc.)

In my opinion this consultation was one of the best things I could've done. We ended our consultation with him giving me a haircut. Since I was terrified of cutting off ALL of my hair at once, he suggested that I get a shorter style and start there. Cutting my hair a few inches at a time helped keep the ends healthy, let me retain a comfy length, and slowly remove the relaxed hair. I'd get about 2 inches cut once a month. When I was finally left with a few inches of relaxed hair and the rest was a comfortable length for me I was ready. My hair was still short, but it wasn't too short that I didn't feel good about it. If you're in doubt or self conscious it'll show no matter how sweet your haircut is.



Courtesy of Mr. "Don't Use My Gov't Name" aka UIPHOTOS ^_^
Check him AND more of me out   H E R E !!



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It took about 6 months for me to finally say, "DO IT!" The picture above is what was left when every single chemically relaxed strand of hair was gone from my head and I loved it!! It's been a rap ever since and I haven't turned back.

The journey definitely wasn't always easy, and I honestly have had my fair share of discouraging time, but as you can see I'm still going strong! Some things I did to keep my head up before and after my BC was:

• Talk to friends and strangers who were chemical free to find out tips, get help, etc.
• Find blogs online for how-to's, product suggestions
• Splurge on products in clearance bins to try for cheap
• Join "Meet Up" groups that are geared towards natural hair, or just the interest
• Keep in touch with your stylist for pointers
• Find local support groups/events
• Watch YouTube vlogs (keywords: natural hair, big chop, encouragement, natural hair styles, etc.)
• Be open to trying new styles, or accessories you wouldn't have before
• Remember that opinions are just that..opinions, and everyone has one (family and close friends included)
• Search for books at your local library

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The last time I had a relaxer put in my hair (take #3) was fall of 2007. I transitioned from there to my BC in 2008! So for about 4 years I've been relaxer free. Occasionally I would get my hair cut into different styles, and of course keep up with trims as needed. My hair grows fast, but maintaining HEALTHY hair is my biggest goal so losing a couple of inches to make sure it's at its best doesn't worry me. I'm having fun trying new styles, meeting people (chemical free or not), and learning new things about hair in general. It's definitely been a journey with some bumps, but I'm in it for the long haul!